But the holiday season brings temporary postmen. Young ones untrained in the art of politely not looking at you directly. You half hope they have a mild myopia which would shield them from the fact that your face looks as if piece of puce coloured scrunched tissue paper has been smoothed over it. By a child not so handy with the glue. If they have to wait whilst you sign for something, their eyes may wander to the eye mask (only if it was a head achey night, you understand), pushed up on your head so that your fringe is standing on end. Teabag skits around their feet, delighted to welcome someone new. When she's happy she squeals. They didn't expect this when they signed up for a spot of Christmas delivering. It's beyond the call of duty and they turn quickly, slipping on the ice in their haste to get away.
If I'm not here, you can always leave it in the wheelie, I call to them but thanks to Teabag's volume, my voice goes unheard.
When you realize that you've answered the door for five days in a row in an aesthetically shocking dressing gown, you want to shout I've actually been up and 'working' for 2 hours. Really I have. But words are futile. The damage has been done.
And this morning it was a Post Girl. I detected a hint pity in her eyes. Does your mother never look like this in the morning? I want to ask. I make a decision to be dressed and brushed and dignified tomorrow to save them the angst. And then I think, no. They're young. They will heal. Soon it will all be over and the regular postman will return and we can go back to pretending we are all very civilised. Which of course we are.
Chilly again isn't it?
We've had snow. Quite a lot of snow for us and I can't remember the last time we had it this side of Christmas. Teabag and Peggy ran out on the first morning and sank shoulder deep into the white stuff. Which was fine and fun until they wanted to wee and realized they were in too deep to assume the regular position.
25 comments:
Ah, snow and weeing. I know the feeling.
Dear Teabag and Peggy, I found myself in a similar predicament in the woods this morning.
I so agree about posties. We've had a temporary one running around in shorts. I fear my hairy legs, gaping pjs and cave woman hair are making him consider a career change.
Your garden looks so pretty.
wow, look at all that snow! you have as much as we do, i think.
and yes, when i dont' have to leave the house i hang around in loud green pajama bottoms and a violet polarfleece top. and orange boiled-wool slippers.
i would instantly blind any postman who dared gaze upon me.
I'm still wiping my eyes from the postal humor - hahahaaaaarrrrggghhh!
But if you want some serious snow photos (I just accidentally typed "snot" but figured I'd better fix it or I'd never see you on my blog again), stop by Mental Meatloaf for a big shovelful of "Blizzard 2009"!!!!
Don't eat the yellow snow!
LOL! Sorry :-) Where's the Snowman? TFx
So, er, what did they do?
Lovely pic!
Your post made me smile - as always, but the last comment had me splurting my coffee out...
Merry Christmas Lane x
Hahaha, I read this after opening the door to our temp postman in my dressing gown!! My hair was so wild and woolly this morning that even Chris did a start when he looked at me....the postman probably through he had found a yeti alive and well and living in Malmesbury!!
After being smug about our lack of snow we now have tons of the bloody stuff....serves me right really!!
C x
our postie never gets here till about lunchtime! And we havent a drop - or flake - of snow here. But we rarely do in Cornwall!
No, I refuse to believe you look anything other than totally glam and I bet the young male posties think so too. Hope Teabag and Peggy have been able to uncross their legs.
The first time this week that Misty and Poppy had to squat I shivered along with them at the cold cold snow hitting their little 'fou-fous'. It must be awful for little girl dogs. I wish I could have provided them with an indoor toilet. The other night I took pity on them and put out a puppy pad, but they are now too well-trained to even consider it (and that's a sentence that I once thought I'd never be lucky enough to put)
As for shabby dressing gowns - I take the girls out about 5.45am and usually get away without being seen. However just occasionally an early bird neighbour going to work spots me and I just front it out and give a big wave, all the time cringing inside.
Have a lovely run up to this mad time of year and a big kiss for Teas, Peg and you can keep one for yourself
xx
Julie
Aren't regular postmen great? What they must've seen... My uncle was a postman, sadly no longer alive or I'd love to have a chat with him about the great sights he must've encountered.
And that last sentence made me laugh no end!
but we must educate the young:they must know what awaits them in a few short years.
so keep up the good work,Lane
(unshaven in a larger sweater and pj bottoms,me-it's the best I can do)
Merry Christmas
When you're that low to the ground (I mean Peggy and Teabag!) it must be a terrible liability trying to pee in the snow.
Ahh yes, I've frightened a few temporary postmen/women in my time too. Bless them.
Poor Grumps had the same problem the other day due to the snow, but it's melted now so he's much happier, and dryer.
Just the 'tone' of this post made me feel like we know each other because of many similarities.
I've answered the door and accepted packages in so many getups that are shocking - that they no longer bat an I.
Oh wait! There was the time the girl brought a package at 2pm and I was still in my housecoat and it was -35C outside. She told me she wished she could lay around in her housecoat all day. As if I actually was doing that! I wanted to tell her I was working too but the noise of her boots on the snow as she crunched away kept her from hearing my spluttered response.
I blogged about a postman, there's a coincidence.
My son's a postman - a real one, not one of those pretend sort. Happy Christmas, Lane!
I do feel for creatures whose legs are shorter than the snow is tall. It is funny though.
Gawd bless regular posties. I expect they have their vision altered as part of the training process?
Given the time this snow is lasting I fear Peggy and Teas aren't having a good week!
I'm sitting here in my green PJ's, with black bears on them (ahem), and my shabby not so white dressing gown having realised I'm expecting a parcel!
Thanks for your comments.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one. And I agree with Felix who said 'they need to learn' so let's keep up the atrocious attire and answer that door with pride:-)
Those young postal workers probably aren't as shocked or offended as you might imagine, Lane. They probably have to watch re-runs of Hyacynth from "Keeping Up Appearances" in Postal Training Camp. You'd never treat your delivery guys that badly, I'm sure!
Every morning Willie and I walk out to the newpaper box. I want a sign for around my neck that says "I've showered and have on clean underwear, but these are yesterday's sweatpants."
The courier guy always calls first, thank goodness, so I get a few minutes to scramble into the bathroom and tidy up a bit. But I've been called to the gate by postmen a couple times to sign things, and I always want to scream: "This isn't how I really look! I'm quite decent looking, actually!"
Then I imagine them going back to base and exchanging stories about the mad woman at #12.
Your snow looks good enough to eat. Wait, the dogs did what? No tasting, then.
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