I did solemnly swear, somewhere back at the beginning of the year that I would submit some bits and pieces this year. And so far I've submitted three. That's two more than last year.And I did solemnly think about confidence and where it comes from.
It's taken me a long time to realise that writing is something I do. Not necessarily great at, or even prolific but it's something I do regularly and something I love. And yet I could never admit this. It sounded overly confident and if you were educated by the Sisters of Mercy, confidence was placed high on the sin scale. Even though I had a couple of good things happen on the writing front, many moons ago, I never pressed for more. Getting published means fighting to be noticed and we are constantly told how hard it is. Not being pushy and frankly lazy, I sat back. I thought I had time and I didn't have an ego that believed what I had to say was any more valid than the next person. Deep down, I believed that only clever, snappy people got published. Outgoing people with interesting lives. Now it astounds me when I read the bios of new writers who are so young. And although many are clever and snappy, some aren't. And then there are those who are just ordinary and past forty. Some are fantastic, many are great, a few are not worth writing home about but what they all have in common is that they 'went for it' because no one is going to swing by your laptop and beg to publish what they see.
Now I see things a bit differently. Close up if you like. What's a bit of rejection in the scheme of things? Some people don't like what you write? 'Tis nothing. It's the some who do who matter. So no more 'what ifs' and worrying about this, that and nothing. Life is way too unpredictable to waste. And I say this as one of our dear blog friends is battling the biggest battle of all. Lots of you know her and I haven't asked permission to link, so I won't. But suffice to say, she is courageous and inspirational. And there is hope. There has to be.
Photo: My brother, who didn't have the luxury of what ifs, viewing life close up.
47 comments:
I just signed in and there you were with the most inspirational post you have written so far. Well done on getting the three articles done and out. I hope your lady who is clearly fighting something humongous beats it - so much is put into perspective when the really big stuff in life takes us on.
Keep at it Lane, you deserve bigger recogniton. X
Great post, Lane xx
Wonderful post, and beautiful photo, Lane. So very well said.x
Congrats on the submissions.
Oh, Lane. You write the most wonderful posts:
This one appears to be a reality-check wrapped in cotton wool. And I'm grateful for it.
I'm so proud of you. Beautiful post and yes our blog friend's courage puts life and its gifts in focus.
lx
Absolutely spot-on post Lane. You don't have to be special, outgoing, glamorous or young to get published (just look at me!) you just have to be determined. Determined to write, determined to improve, determined to sub and determined not to let rejections get you down. You 'just' have to keep on trying.
Spot on, Lane. That's exactly how I feel. And well done for sending out three pieces already. I am going to have a punt at Mslexia but, with no false modesty, I don't think I stand a snowball's chance as I'm not sure that I'm experienced enough at short stories to fine tune them to that particular market. Still, I've enjoyed having a go.
And well said, too, about our fellow blogger. A bit of rejection is nothing in comparison, let's hope there is better news today.
Oh Lane, I'm so glad someone could find the right words. I felt this but didn't know how to say it.
I suffer from the same lack of confidence as you. I've been a journalist since for ever and yet the doubts remain. Great post and, basically, you wrote what I feel.
I felt like this for year. I still lack confidence but I'm getting better. I'm very glad I took the plunge, even with the mound of rejections I got.
Thank you for the post. Can you read minds?
Thanks for this, Lane. You're absolutely spot on. I know I used to suffer from a "pathological respect for literature," and it kept me from writing for decades. It's very scary to admit to the world that you write, and even scarier to start submitting, but it's rather amazing how your skin thickens. But I don't know if the self-confidence problem ever goes away. It certainly hasn't for me, yet.
Fancy instilling into children that confidence is not a good thing. Lane, you write so well that it shouldn't even cross your mind that you might not be any good (oops, a double negative)v - you are good.
One of my closest friends is a writer who also lectures and she is a perpetual wreck from having to meet publishing deadlines and college timetables.
Here's hoping you get your bits and pieces out there without becoming a wreck :)
Lane, you are so right... I read the news yesterday that you're talking about and yes, you're right. Life's too short not to go for it.
The finish line's not always as far away as we expect and it would rubbish to get there without having a proper bash at everything we would have wanted to.
A really thoughtful post.
Couldn't say it better myself (as a non-young, non-snappy writer ;) ).
And all best wishes to your friend.
Nik
Great post, Lane.
As far as my mother was concerned, confidence was the ultimate sin and I don't think I'll ever consider myself a proper writer.
Good luck with those submissions!
Ms TF is soooooooooooo pleased to read that Ms Lane has found the wisdom and the strength to lick those blinkin'postage stamps. Keep us posted ;-)
(my thoughts are with your friend Lane) TFxx
As a dithering, dotty, dopey tart of an almost writer, I quite agree - with whatever it was you were saying.
What is your brother looking at? Is it a cricketer or someone holding a puppy?
One of my resolutions is to submit more work this year. As you quite rightly say, time is short and we should take our opportunities when we can. Let's encourage each other and beat ourselves with pointy sticks if we falter!
So right as ever my love. We really do have to give it our best shot, or risk wasting something really precious.
Hear, hear Lane! Recently one of our blog friends wrote about the writing process--which I'm sure you read as well. She described her drill and then asked about ours. I didn't comment because my first thought was "I'm not a writer." Now after reading your post I want to reconsider. In the last couple of weeks I've written posts and commented on other blogs, I've done Morning Pages, a food journal, and started a ten year journal. And just tonight I help write book club questions for a friend of a friend whose book on the Columbine shootings is in publication now. Maybe I will say that I write. As for you, no mistaking that you're a writer. The best kind of writer, one that many of us know we'd enjoy being friends with just by your writing.
It's not giving up that counts. I had a breakthrough when I realised I could separate my emotional confidence level from my physical ability to press 'send' on an email or to print, pack and post. It didn't matter if I worried that my writing might not be good enough, it mattered that I got it out for other people to read. And it's the not-giving-up-ness that I have always found so inspirational about our mutual friend. Lovely post, Lane, thanks. (And I'm so glad you're submitting your work. Keep it up!)
What a wonderful, honest and heartfelt post, Lane. Beautiful!
rejection is all part of the process. it's not that bad; it's really a way to help you figure out your audience. your audience can't be the entire world--so you have to choose who you're writing to.
writers need readers. so push on. find your readers.
you're great.
MOB - thank you. The big stuff certainly puts the small stuff in its place.
Amanda - thanks m'dear:-)
Debs - thanks too. The phot os great isn't it:-)
Leigh - Ha. Just call me the Cotton Wool Kid:-)
Liz - doesn't it just. And thanks. x
Calistro - I think you fill pretty much that criteria but you're also an excellent and determined writer who is generously showing us the way, step by step.
Chrish - Mslexia is a notoriously tough one. You've got as much chance as anyone and it's all good experience. I need to get my skates on as the closing date looms!
JJ - thank you m'dear.
Dumdad - Thank you so much. And there was me thinking journalists were super confident;-) I suppose there is always the fear that you're only as good as your last piece.
Gosh, your words give me courage:-)
Claire p - Mounds of rejections prove you're trying and therefore working. Soo much better than the alternative:-)
Sueg - Thanks Sue. I think there's a line between confident in yourself and being overly confident. A healthy dose of self doubt must keep you on your toes and striving. And I will grow a thick skin. Oh yes:-)
French Fancy - the nuns were bizarre in many ways. And I know how your friend felt. When I was lecturing I couldn't write at all. It consumed me.
Spiral - absolutely. Handed on a plate would be very fulfilling indeed.
Nik - I though you were 22. You are 22 aren't you?:-)
Shirley - was your mother educated by the nuns?:-)
And thank you.
TF - so far Ms LAne has only clicked 'send. Hurrah for email submissions:-)
Fiona - It's my dad/mum taking the photo. The 'puppy' is the olde worlde camera:-)
Captain Black - Pointy sticks at the ready cap'n:-)
Helenmh - so true m'dear:-)
FAye - wow, you've done a lot of writng in the past couple of weeks!
And thank you. I'm glad that we are friends, connected by our writing:-)
Zinna - so well said. There is no point in not sending out. Pressing send (or whatever) and forgetting about it is really not that difficult. Took me a while to realize that. Better out than in as my father used to said:-)
Absolute - thanking you:-)
Laurie - good advice Laurie. Thank you. I'm pushing on:-)
22? God no! I wish! I'm 27 and feeling every second of it! ;)
You flatterer, you. ;)
N
well done lane for sending those 3 pieces out - and send more as well! You're quite right, it's important to focus on the positive not the negative. So keep at it girl - we love reading what you write so don't stop!
You are absolutely right Lane, what a great post. I didn't write for years because I didn't have enough belief in myself. Blogging and connecting with other writers like yourself has been a great help.
Now I know why I am compelled to follow your blog; not only do you write clever and snappy posts, full of thought and wisdom that you've somehow managed to gleam from your non-adventurous life, but I find myself identifying with what you say.
I've no doubt that something you send off will be published, and not because you happen to luck out, like those younger and not so clever and snappy writers have. But because you have the ability to 'see', and put that down into words so well, that people get it, even if they haven't yet seen those things themselves.
well written lane, you're truly an inspiration for those suffering from self-doubt... one of the key skills in life, as i've learned through other means, is dealing with difficulties, rejection and hurt, seeing them for what they are and moving on with one extra experience under my belt... easier said than done but now i know that fretting and worrying only makes the problem worse... keep well...
What a brilliant post! How write you are Lane! Thats a lovely photo. xxx
Good for you, Lane, I wish you every success - you deserve it. Your blog is one of the best out there - always well-written, often very funny, at other times very moving. Best of luck xxx
Don't be so modest! You write exceedingly well. And gracious sakes alive, I was also educated (for 8 long years) by the ill-named Sisters of Mercy). Catholic boot camp.
What a great post, Lane. Very inspirational. Wishing you the best of luck with your submissions.
Past 40 and ordinary? Gosh, I don't know anyone like that...
I read this at work yesterday, Lane, but as you know I can't really leave comments at work. Lots of things this week have made me take a step back and think about things and your post included some of the things I was thinking myself.
I am so ordinary. Unremarkable in just about every way. Certainly nowhere near as brave or remarkable as our blog friend you mention.
We owe it to ourselves and others to reach for the sky while we still can, no matter what age we are. Life is too precious to waste worrying about what other people will think. At the same time, though, we have to keep our focus on the important things in life, which are not linked to wealth, possessions, education or success.
Does it really matter whether we get published?
I think not. (.... but it would be nice ...)
What a moving post. There's nothing ordinary about you at all m'dear.
Get sending those words out, because in the words of Sir L'Oreal...you're worth it :o))
This is a very deep post and beautifully written too. love the photo.
Congrats on the submissions, Lane. Keep up the good work!
I too am taken aback at what some very young writers are achieving. Where do they get the confidence? It took the imminence of middle age to kick me in the pants and get me going, and every day is a struggle against the 'am I worthy' foe.
Two writers I've met online are currently fighting the big battle. One just got some good news on her condition. I hope that knowing they're in our thoughts and prayers brings some comfort.
Great post, Lane. And well done on your submissions! I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Wonderful and helpful to the rest of us in equal measure!
Excellent post, Lane - and yes, the biggest battle of all puts everything in proportion. I've read the latest posts by the person you mention and it makes me ashamed of myself to bleat about things that in the great scheme of things are not at all important. She's an absolute heroine. As for yourself - you're a sparky, brilliant, warm, intelligent writer - I'm so pleased you've submitted work. I entered a couple of things in the autumn, to a resounding silent fanfare - but do feel good that at least I gave it a go, because over the past few months it has seemed easier to just roll over and put my paws in the air. I now need to get my act together and go looking for a new agent. It's January, though - sheesh ... xx
Good stuff Lane, but everyone has said that better. I'll cut to the photo. I was intrigued by the quite good reflection of the photographer, using a twin-lens reflex if I'm not mistaken. Anyone you know / knew?
Nik - Ha! I don't believe that:-)
Flowerpot - thank you. Already had one rejection so onwards and upwards:-)
Yvonne It's priceless isn't it:-)
dar - aw thank you. Your words are much appreciated:-)
Bart - thank you. You're so right. Fretting is pointless (difficult to avoid but pointless nonetheless). And it wastes valuable energy.
Motherx - thank you. It's a lovely photo isn't it.
Lucy Diamond - thank you for saying so. It means a lot:-)
Billy - Ha! Catholic Boot camp is right. Where was their mercy? That's what I'd like to know:-)
Maddie Moon - Nobody gets to be past 40 and stay normal. what's 'normal' anyway?:-) And thank you.
Annie - I agrre Annie. Ambition shouldn't ever get in the way of what's really important. There has to be a balance. And no way are you ordinary and unremarkable! Oh no.
Karen - thank you. And you've just reminded me, I need to stock up on some Sir L'oreal this week before the grey takes over:-)
DJ - thank you and much appreciated:-)
Wordtryst - Where do they get their confidence from? That's what has always puzzled me. At least now, any success however small will have been thoroughly earnt. And yours is thoroughly deserved.
Babaloo - one rejection already but it's being bounced back out today:-)
CC - thank you. Hope you're doing ok. x
Lorna f - gosh, thank you for that:-) Just the act of submitting feels good. At least I feel like I'm 'taking part'. In the scheme of things the outcome is almost irrelevant. It's the trying I suppose. Having said that, I really, really hope you find an agent asap. No more paws in the air:-)
Ernest - It's my dad. He was and still is a keen photographer. It would have been about 1965. He never went anywhere without cameras and spent all his spare time in his darkroom. And yes, it was a twin-reflex though I can't remember the name.
Excellent post as usual. You manage to express very coherently what a lot of us are thinking. I know only too well that we must grab life with both hands as we never know what tomorrow has in store for us. I hope your friend can win her battle.
Accentuate the positive indeed. And don't worry about the small stuff - when the big stuff comes along, you'll know about it.
Lovely post Lane. Inspiring.
Lane, I think I found this post one of the most moving ones I've ever read and I mean in the emotional sense not in the bowel sense! All the way through it, I found myself saying yes, yes, Yes, oh YES! Quite a Harry meeting SAlly moment, it was. You are a writer. I am a writer. being published would be fab (yeah I blam the sisters of Mercy too....) Fx
Fantastic post hon!! Life is short...you need to go out and grab it!!
With Chris's Mum being ill (with a similar thing) I've not been able to read the lady in questions blog but I completely agree with what you've said...she's amazing!!
C x
Sheepish - So true. Hope you're keeping well m'dear. x
TBNIL - Thank you. 'Sweating the small stuff' is such a waste:-)
Fionnuala - Phew, glad not in the bowel sense! Wonder what the Sisters would have to say about the Harry and Sally moment:-)
And thanks.
Carol - Isn't she just! And I wish Chris's mum all the strength in the world.
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