Wednesday already? My excuse is that it's half term. The weather is appalling but just right for indulging in a bit of hibernation complete with reading, lots of writing and a few naps. Next week things start to get busy so I'm enjoying the calm before the storm.
I've also been helping The Teenager revise for her exams. By 'help' I mean asking questions from a book with no idea of what I'm actually asking and marking test papers with the help of the internet with no idea of what I'm marking. There are some gaping gaps in my education particularly in all things scientific. I blame the nuns. They didn't have a scientific nun within their clan and therefore absolutely no science was taught. I vaguely remember there was a Bunsen burner somewhere in the convent but god knows what it was used for (although even He may be confused. Distilling holy water?). My entire school life was completely devoid of a periodic table or a theory of any kind.
Religion was taught, but only one religion of course. And English. Lots and lots of English. Maths was courtesy of a lay teacher. Art was taught by a French woman. French was taught by an English nun. Everything else was taught by Irish nuns apart from Stoolball which was taught by an Old Girl. And if you're stumped by Stoolball, it's a game dating back to middle ages, similar to cricket and played in the south east of the country. I was rubbish at it. We wore heavy skorts. Yes skorts. I was also rubbish at sewing dirndl skirts, making banana custard and learning the polka. Even now, I struggle to see what those nuns envisaged as our future. Oh and do you know another thing that they taught us? How to make up a bed for a sick person, without cutting off the circulation in their feet. You have to fold in a pleat you see. Now that could be useful, couldn't it?
46 comments:
Oh my, that does sound rather a scary education... It's a bit like the education here. One of Husband's Thai colleagues called his Venn diagram, "a bubble." He was most offended and spent the afternoon looking up Venn Diagrams on Wikipedia.
Wow Lane there's a few stories in that! I went to a slapdash version of a Waldorf Steiner school and, while I didn't have to wear skorts, the teachers had no idea about science either. I still remember their attempts and cringe. Maths was pretty diabolical too. When I changed schools at 15 I was amazed at talk of trigonometry and balancing equations!
Maybe the school inspectors were scared of nuns too? I did have science teachers, it's just that most of them were rubbish. Biology teacher stood at the front and read from a text book, no questions allowed, every lesson. She did at least get fired when the whole class failed!
Skorts and pleats.
Yes - I can see a novel coming out of this Lane.
I'm actually stunned at your education. Having gone to public school in a 'northern' community - well - my education was a lot different from yours. And thinking about it - I think I'd still prefer mine. Yours just sounds scary.
Yes, it's a puzzle how we can go to school for so many years and still know so little. We had no TV growing up so I also have to contend with not knowing anything when the subject is Gilligan's Island, etc. However, Ms. Lane I'll stack my chocolate pudding from scratch up against your banana custard any day! Oh, and I made A line skirts, not dirndls--must learn to put on a waitband, don't you know.
I did get one of my few As in biology but only because the professor was cute enough to make me study.
Oh I can see a serial coming on... your school sounds fantastic. Maybe the nuns thought you'd all become either stoolball champions or nurses? Stoolball, the word alone makes me laugh. Please, please tell us more!
Science and religion, eh?
I'd better stay out of this one.
Unless anyone particularly wants to hear an atheist scientist's views...
All sounds quite exciting to me! I went to a crap run-of-the mill comp and feel rather envious of all that Stoolball, sewing and banana custard... Science is over-rated if you ask me! (don't tell captain black I just said that...)
Did you make clothes out of curtains and put on puppet shows and run away from the nazis with your singing family and did you....."cliiiiimb eeeeeevry mountaaaaaaaain".
Oh excuse me, won't you. I've come over all musical theatre.
Sounds idyllic, Lane. Positively idyllic.
loved this post. so damn ENGLISH. what the hell is "half-term"? it's one of those phrases that, when i see it, i instantly want to plunge into some english boarding school novel from the early 20th century.
(and are you familiar with dylan thomas's hilarious parody of english schoolboy novels?)
anyway... my schooling was much less colorful than yours but i was crap at sewing dirndl skirts, too.
ever your amaerican doppelganger,
laurie
Well you have just taught me something as I never knew any of that!! (I hate helping Z with maths as he knows more than I do!)
JJ - It was very scary jj! lol at the 'bubble'!
Yvonne - You didn't have to wear a skort? You were so lucky:-) I think the Waldorf Steiner wins hands down!:-)
Denise - the convent existed in a world far removed from curriculums and inspectors. Funnily enough it doesn't exist anymore:-)
Aims - Funnily enough I'm pondering setting novel #2 partly in the convent ... if I ever finish novel #1.
Yes, scary. Very much so.
faye - Hurrah for cute professors! It was only several years later when I made it to college that I realised teachers/professors could be actually be good people. People you could ask questions and not be afraid of.
And I still can't sew Faye. I think I peaked at the dirndl skirt:-)
Babaloo - I'm sure the nuns only made us play Stoolball because it was cheap and didn't need much equipment:-)
Re careers? I think once they saw we weren't going to become Novices, they sort of lost interest!
Captain - yes I do Captain! I need some science to fill the gaps! Better make it very simple though:-)
Lucy - Not exciting Lucy. Actually rather nasty. Might have to dredge up more on the subject. maybe:-)
TBNIL - Nooooo, not idyllic. No no.
Not sunny Von Trapp like at all. If only. More Les Miserables:-)
Laurie - My doppelganger! I like that:-)
'Half term' is the holiday half way through the term (which I'm guessing is semester), usually for a week.
I have your problem but reversed. When I see American school system words - Like grades. How old is an 8th grader?
Haven't read Thomas's parody but it sounds like I should:-)
Motherx - I hate maths too - especially when there are letters involved. What's that all about?:-)
Algebra apparently is a branch of mathematics concerning the study of structure, relation and quantity, f***ing useless in my book.
Needlework was the only class I was ever chucked out of for being far too disruptive, too right I was we had to make a pleated pinafore dress out of a dark brown horrible scratchy fabric that looked s**t when finished.
Give me strength :o TFX
Think yourself lucky ... I spent two years at a school in Cornwall where everyone had such thick accents that they employed an elocution teacher to try to teach us all Received Pronunciation (or BBC English as they sometimes call it). Problem was ... the teacher was Austrian and sounded like an upper class ARnold Swarzenegger. To this day I can hear those poor kids ...
'Round ze ragged rock ze ragged rascal raaaan.'
Shudder.
I love the idea of the lack of a 'scientific nun'. And they obviously foresaw a future of making banana custard for sick people for you x
I'm sorry, there's just something about the phrase 'stool ball' that sounds utterly gross to me. You can tell I wasn't educated by nuns!
I've no idea about skorts thuogh. There's something marvelous about being educated in banana custard though All sounds very jolly and wholesome. Hurrah!
I was edumercated by Nuns and Priests in Surrey, but clearly they lived in a parallel Catholic world to yours. No skorts. No Stoolball. And Chemisty, Biology and Physics with plenty of Bunson burners, if only I hadn't been looking out the window.
My first year form tutor, Fr Charlton - was a muscular Christian who'd been to Palestine and served with Monty in the desert. He taught us more about sex than we'd learnt from looking glassy eyed through well thumbed copies of Health & Efficiency. Apparently naked women didn't just want to throw beach balls at each other. And he did Judaism, having been there, spoke the language (and Arabic).
BTW, &+hearts+; = ♥ (remove the +, there should be no spaces - it's an HTML character)
Yes we wore shorts - and I remember learning how to make those beds as well....
I went to the worst school in the town and absolutely loved it.
My English teacher could strike fear in the heart of the devil - but she became a very good friend as I grew up. She knew I was a secret writer and used to grab hold of her hair in anguish when she came round for coffee when my kids were young and I wouldn't submit any of my stories.
The teachers were all great, even though the school's reputation was poor. They were lovely, human people who treated the kids who wanted to learn with respect and kindness. (Perhaps because there were very few of us and we were easy to teach!)
What a contrast, Lane, to your education. There must be a lesson here, somewhere, and I think it's that a child who wants to learn will learn anywhere.
By the way, a friend of mine (now 52) was the only boy at the Convent School. Poor J. He hated it. He's now a successful antiques dealer and we're still friends.
All the best to your daughter for her exams. I'm sure she's going to excel, given her lovely mum's devotion to her revision.
Actually that "fold in a pleat" thing sounds ace, albeit too late me for. With duvets there isn't a problem, but as a boy I used to lie in bed feeling like a Chinese girl (whoops, just seen the nudge nudge ambiguity there, anyway)with bound feet, the sheet and blankets would press down so. A pleat would have been welcome.
Excuse me Lane? When did you feel it okay to nick my life and put pen to paper about it? Three quarters of what you wrote relates to my convent school education - except the science bit. I lurved science and physics but then we had a nun called Wee Benny' - short for Sister Mary Thereze Benedicta who knew all things scientific and instilled a love in it to all she taught.
Dirndle skirts ? – I had to make one out of curtain material that looked like it would do justice to the inside of a gypsy fortune tellers caravan. Cookery lessons, yup bananas and custard – yeeeuuukkk but yup too, to having to make that. And, making beds with hospital corners to absolute perfection – I still do them today. Ha, a good old Catholic education!
It wasn't until the children started asking for help with their homework that I realised what a dunce I was! Not necessarily through lack of good teaching though...more that I'd never really needed to use most of what I learnt.
I can't remember who taught me to fold 'hospital corners' but I didn't learn it at school!
I spent most of my education in the convent I attended (until being asked to leave at 12) doing the dishes at lunchtime with Sister Constantine because I refused to eat the revolting food.
I'm also 'helping' J revise and have no idea what I'm asking. Most strange.
Your education sounds very colourful!
Enjoy your calm!
you sound like you were brought up in what my boys call the raggedy old days (usually referring to my perfectly normal childhood). Half term has indeed hampered the grab at the computer in our household and that's without the horrors of revision. shudder.
Gosh, you were lucky. I was TRAUMASTISED by my science lessons. Don't ask.
I can't believe I know someone else who knows how to do hospital corners. I know the correct way to iron a napkin too. This has been a lifesaver I can tell you.
I should have been taught by nuns but I escaped (not literally). Long story. I went to an all girls grammar school in South East London. Best thing I learned there was grammar.
Hi Lane, I too did the nun thing, i was always being hit over the palm of my hand with board duster! We would have assembly first thing in a morning and again after lunch. One day i fainted at both assemblies, so i had to stay in the classroom and read the bible, poor me! I was never allowed back into the hall. I currently do not follow any religion although i beleive in something. I don't think it's made me a bad person just slightly more honest without anything else to blame or hide behind. Who knows?
I think I had a pretty shoddy education myself in an old building where much was lacking and the teachers weren't that bright. I think it was a damn shame that we didn't even have a Bunsen burner or any other scientific equipment. We only learned things in theory. We had philosophical discussions about how a worm experienced his short life on earth. The girls weren't supposed to know anything about science anyway. 't Was a terrible time and a waste of four good years.
crib notes for you:
kindergarten: 5
first grade: 6
second grade: 7
third grade: 8
fourth grade 9
fifth grade: 10
sixth grade 11
those are "grammar school" or "elementary school"
seventh grade 12
eighth grade 13
ninth grade 14
those are junior high, or middle school
tenth grade 15
11th grade 16
12th grade 17
those are senior high school
ages are approximate. i was 16 when i started 12th grade and graduated at 17, but most turn 18 in 12th grade.
Steve - I love the idea of an 'upper class' Arnie! That was some school you went to!
Tom Foolery - I agree. Maths with numbers is just weird.
lol at being disruptive in needlework. I wish I'd had the courage!
Helenmh - I don't think they ever gave our future a thought Helen. Feeding the poor perhaps - with lumpy custard?
Spiralskies - Do you know, now you mention it Stoolball does sound a bit disgusting. I'd never thought of that before which is weird considering my bog like mind:-)
Bobo - we were almost neighbours! Your muscular clever priest sounds a whole lot better than our slightly shrivelled nuns I must say!
Am still trying to figure out heart but am a dud:-(
flowerpot - I hope you've never had to to actually make those beds though!
Annie - your school sounds great. You're right, what a contrast! I think any kid/adult who wants to learn will eventually but it would have been nice to have had some encouragement along the way.
Thanks re exams. I'll be glad when she's finished.
Ernest - ah, if only someone had taught you the pleat. Your poor Chinese bound feet. Thank god for duvets and liberation eh!:-)
MOB - Ah the similarities! Those old school nuns were a force to be reckoned with. I'm envious of your scientific one!:-)
Karen - I can't believe how much I don't know BUT I'm also astounded at how much basic stuff she doesn't know either. Shocking!:-)
Debs - 'asked to leave'. That's such a nice way of putting it.
And I sympathise. The food was grotesque!
Casdok - colourful in retrospect maybe. At the time it was soo grey. Hope you and C are well.
Milla - lol. Yep the 'raggedy ' old days just about sums it up!:-)
Girl In The Mask - I've got to ask now! That bad eh?;-)
Fiona - where would we be without an ironed napkin. If I had an iron I could tell you!:-)
Cait - A lucky escape. Ah grammar. The nuns were very keen on grammar:-)
Frankie - oh the assemblies and the constant masses. You poor thing with the board duster:-(
I really don't think they had any idea of the damage they did to young minds.
You're right too. Religion is often used as an excuse to hide behind.
Nora - Your comment about the worm made me laugh. I remember a similar lecture from a nun about ants.
Yep, it was such a waste.
Laurie - thank you! It's clear now. It seems we have adopted the American system without me realising it. When I was at school you went into the first form at 11 or 12 and finished in the upper 6th . Now its all changed. My youngest is in Year 5 and she's 10.
Now I just have to learn the US university lingo:-)
God love the nuns! I went to an all girls convent school and fortunately most of the nuns were very good teachers and covered more useful topics than making up beds for sick people. LOL!
Aww, you went to a nun school, wow. Not quite sure what else to say really, just wow.
big hugs
H
xx
Aww, you went to a nun school, wow. Not quite sure what else to say really, just wow.
big hugs
H
xx
Aww, you went to a nun school, wow. Not quite sure what else to say really, just wow.
big hugs
H
xx
Dear Dud, we'll do it one more time, slowly ... the ♥ symbol is created by putting together (with no spaces in between) the ampersand character the word hearts (plural) and a semi-colon. OK?
I also attended a convent school - quite a good one, actually. I won't say anything about a certain lay math teacher who 'taught' a generation of girls there, because we have a code of silence about some aspects of our alma mater. But I'm sure you can fill in the gaps.
We wore pleated blue skirts and white blouses with house badges at the neck. Not cool!
ccdevine - you were one of the lucky ones!
Hullaballoo - but you said it three times. Aw thank you:-)
Bobo - I know I am very duddy. See my big dunce cap!
But look ...
♥
♥
♥
Actually I cut and pasted those:-)
Simple!
Wordtryst - Oh dear. One of 'those' teachers:-(
And snap with the pleated blue skits but badges were on the hats:-)
actually i'm very glad of the school i went to, even though several teachers were abysmal in their client contact skills ;-)
at the moment i'm helping daughter nr.2 revise her french, maths and history and seem to have not forgotten much actually, if anything the stuff i learned (in even my own half-hearted way then) is way beyond what they're expected to learn now...
sometimes i wish i could go back to school, i like learning things :-))
Nuns. I'm a veteran of Catholic Boot Camp. Lots of whacks by yardsticks and rulers, although they didn't avoid science.
Blimey, look, it's nearly Wednesday already again! Banana custard, ewww.
Bart - I wouldn't like to go back to school *shudder* but I like learning things. I was helping The Teenager revise for modern history the other day and was shocked at what I'd forgotten.
Billy - Catholic Boot Camp. That sounds about right! Glad you got science though:-)
Zinnia - what about lumpy banana custard. Any better?:-)
what kind of a person are you Lane???
do you know how much the nuns have done for you!? apart from teaching at the school, they have been praying for you always!!!
besides, if you are really THAT concerned about your science, then you could've asked your parents to get a science tutor for you.
where there is a will, there will be a way...
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